The Dead Space King
by A Completely Sane Writer
Summary: Having lost his ability to recognize himself after absorbing Schrodinger, Alucard finds himself in a strange new world and has no idea how to get out. Now, the No-Life King must traverse through a ship where the only thing to be found is death.
1. Chapter 1

**The Dead Space King**

Summary: Having lost his ability to recognize himself after absorbing Schrodinger, Alucard finds himself in a strange new world and has no idea how to get out. Now, the No-Life King must traverse through a ship where the only thing to be found is death.

 **Disclaimer: I am neither Kouta Hirano nor an EA exec, and I own neither Hellsing nor Dead Space.**

 **So, I was watching some of Team Four Star's gaming videos where they have Vegeta and Krillin play games, and was really disappointed that they didn't have any of Alucard playing, so I decided to just write a story based on the concept myself. Worth noting before we get started, Alucard is going to be just as overpowered as always, so don't expect a whole lot of drama, this is mainly going to be a humor story. Also, I'm using chapter transcripts on the Dead Space wiki as a point of reference, so if I miss areas of the game or dialogue is wrong (though I will be paraphrasing or changing some things to fit the story) describe it and I'll do my best to fix it if it's significant enough. As far as Alucard's characterization goes, I did my best to get it as accurate as possible, but there are probably a few OOC moments, so I apologize for that in advance.**

Darkness. Events from his and so many others lives flashed before him for what felt like an eternity, a mess of memories he couldn't make any sense of. Eventually, it had stopped, and there was nothing but darkness in his vision. He floated in nothingness, unable to feel anything, but soon he felt the touch of something on his pale skin. "Metal," Alucard noted. Slowly beginning to regain his senses, he opened his eyes slowly, and was greeted with the sight of a blonde haired woman on some sort of video display.

"Isaac, it's me. I wish I could talk to you."

" _Isaac_?" Alucard questioned himself. " _Is that who I am? No… that doesn't sound right."_

"I wish I could talk to you," The woman continued. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I wish I could just talk to someone. It's all falling apart here. I can't believe what's happening... It's strange... such a little thing..."

Alucard didn't understand anything about what the woman was talking about, but watching the video had given him time to collect himself, and he was fairly lucid now. Scanning his surroundings, he found himself surprised for the first time in the last several centuries. " _Now just how the hell,_ " he thought in astonishment, " _Did I get from London to a spaceship in the middle of goddamn outer space?_ "

He was distracted from any further thought, however, when another woman, evidently part of the crew of this futuristic ship, started speaking to him.

"How many times have you watched that thing?" She questioned. "Guess you really miss her." Feeling slightly irritated at this woman's almost mocking tone of voice, despite the fact that she was actually talking to whom she believed to be a man called Isaac; Alucard merely grunted and otherwise ignored her. While being subtle wasn't something he enjoyed doing, making enemies out of the first people he saw when he appeared to be in a different dimension he knew nothing about probably wasn't the wisest choice of action. Meanwhile, a dark skinned man was addressing the crew. "All right everyone, we're here. Synching our orbit now." The woman from before muttered dismissively, "All this trouble over that chunk of rock." Alucard snorted.

" _Humans do tend to obsess over the most ridiculous of things. Not sure why they're surprised when they finally realize that._ "

The dark skinned man, who Alucard assumed was the captain of this ship or something similar, rebuked the woman. "Deep space mining is a lucrative business, Ms. Daniels. Aegis 7 is a gold mine, according to prospector's reports. Cobalt, Silicon, Osmium... Now, where is she? There she is. We have visual contact."

Alucard looked up in a mix of interest and amusement. " _Deep space mining? I guess the humans finally exhausted the resources on Earth. Doesn't surprise me, though I'm surprised they actually found a solution to the issue."_

The woman then said something non sarcastic for the first time thus far. "So that's the Ishimura? Impressive…" Taking a glance at the ship in question, Alucard had to admit that it was extraordinarily large, to the point that it was carrying a piece of the planet referred to as "Aegis 7."

It wasn't a small piece either.

The woman known as Ms. Daniels took a closer look at the ship. "Why is it all dark?" She questioned, "I don't see any running lights." The captain of the shuttle gave the order to contact the Ishimura, only to be responded with unintelligible scratching and growling noises. Alucard's eyes widened slightly, not that it was noticeable behind the helmet he was wearing. " _I'd recognize that noise anywhere,_ " He mused, " _It's the sound of hungry, ravenous ghouls. There's something… off about it though."_

The rest of the crew however, who were evidently not familiar with the sound of the undead, wrote the noise off as what Alucard surmised to be a busted communications device. Completely unaware of the danger that awaited them, they prepared to land the shuttle inside the larger ship. Alucard grinned. " _Well, it seems they're in for quit the surprise. At least I'll be able to have a bit of fun here, wherever I am."_

Suddenly, the ship shook as it crashed into something. "We're off track!" One of the crew members shouted, "We're going to hit the hull!" Alucard fought off the urge to swear. There weren't a lot of things that could kill him, but if the rest of these humans died and he was left without a guide to help direct him through this new world, things would be a lot more complicated. After a few tense moments of the crew scrambling to come out alive, the ship managed to dock inside the Ishimura, though it had obviously take serious damage.

After getting into a short argument with the captain, Daniels approached Alucard and apparently synched up something known as his RIG (Alucard assumed it was the suit he was wearing) with the ship. Getting ready to exit the shuttle, Alucard nearly stumbled back in shock when a message with a green background appeared in front of him. Realizing that no one else seemed to see the message, or simply didn't care, Alucard took a look at what it said. "Use run to move quickly," He read quietly. Not bothering to resist the urge to roll his eyes, he had to question the absurdity of breaking the laws of reality (as the message wasn't coming from anywhere but thin air as far as he could tell) to tell him something so blatantly obvious. Moving along, and ignoring the woman who was still bitching about something or other, Alucard followed the captain down the walkway until they reached a door. The man looked at him. "Isaac, I need you to hack to door pad for me,"

" _Hack?"_ Alucard questioned. " _I don't believe that's something I know how to do…"_ Then, noticing there seemed to be nothing on the door but a single glowing blue button, Alucard raised an eyebrow and pushed it. To his surprise and amusement, the door opened. "That _was hacking?"_ He thought in disbelief. Regardless of the seeming absurdity of what just happened, the captain seemed satisfied with the door being opened, and the crew stepped into what Alucard believed someone had referred to as the flight lounge. The captain looked around quizzically. "There should be a security detail in here," he said questioningly.

"Yeah, well there's not," Daniels replied. "There's nobody here."

" _Yes, that might have to do with the fact that their all most likely dead,_ " Alucard thought, smirking at the crews obliviousness. Having finished their discussion, the captain ordered Alucard to go turn on a security console. Suddenly, there was a voice in his head. " **Use the Locator System to find your objective."** Additionally, another green box popped in front of him, detailing how to use this supposed locator system. Trying it out, Alucard followed the line that appeared through a door directly in front of him, made it to the security console, and… pushed another button on it. Rolling his eyes once more, Alucard questioned why everybody else was incapable of pushing buttons. " _Do they lack fingers?_ " He considered. However, a quick glance at the crew revealed this was not the problem. However, his thoughts of the people in this world's appendages, or lack thereof, were quickly interrupted by the lights going off and a loud noise ringing out. The captain attempted to calm the crew by stating it was just the quarantine system going off, but his attempts were immediately rendered pointless by a gruesome creature breaking through an air vent and mutilating one of the crew members. In shock, the crew members fired upon it, and it fled through the air vent it came out of. However, while the crew was unable to see the creature properly in the dark, and even if they could have would have known it as nothing more than "a monster," Alucard's vampiric eyesight, on the other hand, picked up something rather significant:

Whatever it was, that creature was not a ghoul.

" _Of course,_ " Alucard noted, " _It was oddly similar to a ghoul for not being one, but that thing was far different from the creatures created by vampires._ " He grinned. " _I wonder how well it fights…_ " Unfortunately, his thoughts prevented him from noticing the crew yelling at him to run, and, slightly more significantly, the creature stalking up behind him. Realizing what was going on, and ducking his head just before the creature sliced it off, Alucard ran over to the unlocked door, opened it, and ran off down the narrow hallways. As he ran from the creatures that were now almost flooding the hallways, Alucard considered his actions. " _I suppose it's for the best I don't reveal my powers to those idiots yet,_ " He smirked, " _I still need them to trust me for now, after all._ " Missing his favorite weapons of mass murder, The Jackal and The Casull, Alucard made his way over to the elevator at the end of the hall. As he stepped inside it and the doors began to close, a creature suddenly appeared and held them open, intent on skewering the elder vampire…

At which point Alucard promptly kicked it with extreme force, sending it flying down the hall with a brand new hole in its chest. At that moment, the elevator doors, which were old and not in the best condition, slammed shut and sliced Alucard's foot off. " _Well that was rather embarrassing…_ "Alucard admitted, and, despite being alone and wearing a mask, fought to keep the sheepish look off his face as his foot regenerated.

A few moments later, the doors to the elevator opened and Alucard stepped out. The room he stepped into was smaller than the flight lounge, but a number of things caught his eye. Crouching down, he picked a glowing green box. Curious of its contents, he gripped it tightly and punched it open. A glowing object fell to the floor. After picking it up, a hologram lit up above it. Unlike the ones before, this one actually seemed to come from the object itself rather than thin air. Raising an eyebrow at the description of "credits; 700" Alucard pocketed the item into in one of the storage compartments of his suit. After smashing the rests of the boxes and picking up all the "credits," Alucard picked up a broken piece of glass from the floor. Taking off his helmet and using the mirror to view his reflection, Alucard was pleased to note that his reflection showed the face of a man he presumed to be "Isaac," and breathed a sigh of relief. " _Now I can finally take this damnable stuffy helmet off without worrying about revealing myself._ " In the midst of doing so, something else caught his eye. Walking over to one side of the room, he stared wide eyed at a rather significant object lying on a bench. " _Is that…_ " He grinned the mad grin he was known so well for as he picked up what perhaps his favorite object in the entire world (and any others there might be.)

His overpowered black gun, The Jackal.

Making sure it was still _his_ gun, he fired an experimental shot at the wall and was satisfied to see that it made just as big a hole as his original gun would've. On the other side of the large door separating the room Alucard was in from the next, a man who would soon meet a rather unfortunate death-by-necromorphs felt a glimmer of hope as he heard a gunshot from the room behind him, and prayed that rescuer's were on their way. "Is someone there?" He called out, hoping they would get there before the necromorphs who also certainly heard him did. "Hello?" Back in the other room, Alucard, interested that there were still people alive on this ship, made his way over to the door and, at another pop up messages instruction, (he had mostly decided to just ignore them at this point) smashed the power strip keeping the door closed and pushed the button to open the door. At the same moment said door opened, a necromorph leapt up onto the soon to be victims body and began skewering him. It is perhaps worth noting that someone with Alucard's speed, given the proper heroic motivation, could have shot the creature assaulting the man before he suffered more than minor injuries.

Unfortunately for the man, Alucard was a monster who was neither heroic nor motivated to put effort into saving some idiot human who would tag along and only be dead weight that would slow him down.

Half a moment later, the necromorph had finished killing the man and turned its attention to Alucard, then promptly leapt towards him.

Alucard blew its head off before it got an inch off the ground.

Holding his gun down again, and silently bemoaning the lack of a holster in his suit, Alucard gave his trademark grin (though nobody was around to see it save for the corpses.) " _Well, that was satisfying,_ " He thought to himself. Walking forward into the hallway, he was rather surprised when the previously thought to be dead and certainly headless necromorph leapt up and grabbed onto him, and immediately ran it's bladed hand in a lucky strike straight through his armor and into his heart.

Shoving the creature away from him, Alucard raised the Jackal and blew a hole straight through the monsters chest, paused, then blew its legs off for good measure. Carefully stepping around the necromorph's corpse, Alucard's eye twitched as a rather belated message appeared in front of him.

 **Shoot the limbs off enemies to ensure their demise.**

Alucard made his way down a few more hallways, with a handful of encounters with the creatures along the way, (through the various blood written messages on the wall, Alucard had surmised they were called "necromorphs,") though they were fairly easily dispatched. Honestly, it wasn't hard to tell that the ones lying on the floor completely uninjured were only playing dead, especially after seeing they could survive being beheaded. The only real issue was that while the Jackal held an absurd amount of rounds for a pistol, (up to twenty) Alucard was still beginning to run a bit low on ammo, and he hadn't found any more yet. What's more, it was **not** ammo efficient to kill "necromorphs." Typically, Alucard would simply fire a single shot in the head or chest of an enemy, before moving on to the next target. But as these creatures died primarily from limbs shots, it took at least two rounds before they went down for good, despite the heavy fire power of the Jackal. As it was, he only had about six bullets left by the time he made it to the room where the tram station was turned on from. Walking through the doorway, he was greeted by the ever pleasant sight of his supposed friends (coworkers? Teammates? Alucard wasn't entirely sure) beginning to argue immediately after greeting him. "Keep your voice down!" The captain warned her. "Whatever these things are, they're not friendly!"

"You don't say," Alucard muttered dryly. "After all, their murderous intent was ever so subtle." Not having heard him, Daniels continued arguing. "You're crazy Hammond. You're going to get us all killed!"

" _So his name is Hammond then? Not that it really matters; I doubt these idiots will survive very long…_ "

Their conversation continued for a few moments before they decided that the best course of action was to send "Isaac" off to fix the tram, with Hammond offering to help him find someone named Nicole if he did so. Not entirely sure who that was, Alucard went off on his journey to do what he heavily suspected to involve pushing another button. Before leaving the room however, his eye caught on what appeared to be a wall mounted container with, surprise surprise, a button on it. Alucard shrugged and pushed the button, causing the container to open and a bullet filled clip for the Jackal to fall onto the floor. Picking it up with glee, Alucard proceeded to open the rest of the containers before walking off towards his objective, his mind happily filled with pleasant thoughts of murder and mutilation.

A few corridors and dead necromorphs later, Alucard was feeling annoyed. He had picked up several "audio logs," interested in learning more about the world he was in, only for nearly all of them to remind him that he had to shoot off the limbs of necromorphs in order to kill them. On top of that, he received a call from Hammond telling him the same, AND a repeat of the message-from-nowhere telling him to do so. If there was one thing he was good at, it was killing anything that moved, and he was feeling rather insulted at the universes seeming belief of him having an inability to pick up basic concepts. Deciding to just ignore the constant reminders, he stepped into a large open room that, upon inspection, appeared to be the area below the tram system. Blasting away a few necromorphs that jumped up from the vents in the ground, he followed his locator system to a door a ways back, which appeared to be broken as it was rapidly opening and closing at a speed that would crush a normal person. Preparing to simply use his strength to hold it open as he walked through, he received a call from Daniels (he still did not know her first name, not, as he mused, that it was any real loss) who, after stating the obvious that the door was malfunctioning, instructed him to pick up something called a "stasis module" and use it on the door. Looking down at ground revealed that there was indeed such an object, and Alucard picked it up and attached it to his suit. A message-from-nowhere revealed that the device was activated by pushing a button (Alucard's eye began to twitch at this) on his suit located on the inner part of his hand. Aiming at the door, he discovered that the device did indeed put things in a form of semi-stasis, and walked through the temporarily open doorway. " _I might be able to have a lot of fun with this_ ," Alucard thought. " _I ought to have Walter try and make me one when I get ba-_ " He swore under his breath. " _Right. Never mind._ " His pleasant mood at being able to slow down time ruined, he continued on his way towards his objective.

Walking into the room where the tram needed fixed from, Alucard followed his locator system to the middle of the room, where he pushed the button on the console, at which point an arm shaped device reached out and grabbed what he assumed to be the tram…only for it to move right back where it was. His frustration lasted only for a moment however, as a phone call from Daniels instructed him to stasis it once it was in place and then press the button on the console again. He was further mollified by the appearance of several necromorphs popping through the vents, which he gleefully slaughtered. Once again questioning why he was the one needed to do this, as he had picked up the stasis module on his way there, he listened to another phone call from Daniels instructing him to go and pick up something or other. Honestly, he couldn't really care less about the (supposedly) futuristic technology he was dealing with, he was more focused on the rather irritating fact that he was being continually sent out on menial errands far below his level of skill. Silently pitying the actual Isaac he seemed to have replaced, he turned to go off on his newest fetch quest.

Before leaving, however, his attention was caught by something he missed on his way in: a wall mounted blue container with a glowing white button. Having gathered that anything with a button on it was useful to him at this point, even if he was beginning to hate the damn things, he opened the container, revealing a tan, disk shaped object, with a hologram identifying it as a "power node." Having no idea what it was for, Alucard shrugged and shoved it in his inventory. Continuing on, he made his way down another few sets of corridors and into an elevator. Once outside the elevator, he found himself on what appeared to be a series of scaffolding ledges. Handily dispatching the few necromorphs that appeared, and questioning the oddity of the fact that they dropped various items despite having no discernable suit or storage space on them, he walked along the numerous pathways for quite some time before realizing he had gotten himself lost. Getting frustrated for a moment before remembering he had a locator system, he eventually made it to his objective. He pushed the button on the door to open it, only for it to flash red, beep, and fail to open. After re-pushing the button several times, a video screen appeared with Daniels on the other end. "Isaac, its Kendra."

" _Well, now I know what this obnoxious women's name is. I suppose that's useful if I ever have to address, not that I've actually needed to say anything thus far._ "

"It looks like the door to the storage room is locked." Kendra continued. "There should be a key somewhere in the maintenance bay." As the video screen flashed away, Alucard came to a quick decision. Hoping they were only monitoring him in terms of knowing when he got stuck, as what he was about to do would be hard to explain, he pulled back his fist, swung forward, and punched a hole right through the door. Gripping the edges of the hole he made, the vampire pulled on the metal and stretched it further apart, then walked through the newly made entry way in the door.

Smirking at his new solution to pointless errands, he walked over to a desk where the Data Board he was looking for was on, and shoved it inside of his suit. However, he was more focused on the large, desk looking device on the opposite wall, and walked up to it in interest. A computer voice spoke up, stating, "Use power nodes to upgrade your weapons and RIG." Alucard turned on the device, which identified itself as a Bench, and looked at the popup menu with a list of options. Noting with disappointment that there was no upgrade option for his Jackal, (though it did reaffirm his belief that it was the single greatest weapon in the universe, and could not possibly be made better) he pushed the option listed "RIG," and looked over the new menu. Once again disappointed, as the only option were to upgrade his health and "air" which he certainly had no need of, he went back and opened up the menu for his stasis device. Shrugging, he used the power node he had collected to upgrade the duration of the effect, and closed Bench menu before walking away from the device.

A little while later, Alucard had made his way back to the tram system control room, and replaced the Data Board, thus fixing the tram. On his way there, he had decided he rather enjoyed the fact that this world had the thoughtfulness to liven up what would be a rather boring walk through the ship by giving him amusing little growling monsters to slaughter. He still hoped he would eventually run across something a bit more threatening and fun to fight, but for the moment he was content with these minor threats.

At the moment however, he was watching what appeared to be another argument between Kendra and Hammond, as the woman was rather upset at Hammonds insistence that they figure out what was going on before leaving. Fortunately for Alucard's patience, the argument was nipped in the bud by Kendra's begrudging acceptance of Hammonds plan, and Alucard was free to walk back towards the ship they came in (which, according to Hammond, was called the Kellion.) A while later, upon reaching the flight lounge, Alucard was contacted by Hammond (who, despite his earlier assessment of as another idiot, he had decided he actually liked considerably more than Kendra, and was even reminded ever so slightly of his Master Integra with the man's consistently professional attitude) who quickly informed him that there were no survivors and that the situation was awful. The elder vampire had already guessed as much, given that these necromorphs were actually stronger than ghouls, (unarmed ones, anyway) but he supposed confirmation was nice. Continuing on his way, he made it onto the Kellion, pushed the button to "check the ships diagnostics," and proceeded to watch as several necromorphs with spiked tails climbed onto the front of the ship, which promptly proceeded to start going up in flames. " _Huh,_ " Alucard thought. " _That could be ba-_ "

 _ **Boom!**_

And that was as far as he got before the ship blew up in a fiery explosion.

Groaning as he finished regenerating, Alucard got to his feet. " _Well, at least this suit seems to regenerate as well…somehow._ " The clothes he wore prior to getting killed by applied philosophic theory regenerated only because they weren't actually clothes, just more shape shifted shadow mass like his body itself, therefore there wasn't any reason for the suit to regenerate, " _But,_ " Alucard mused, " _I suppose that's not a particularly big concern at the moment…_ " Turning his attention to the necromorphs lurking towards him, Alucard reached for his gun to dispatch them, only to discover the explosion had blown it away towards the other end of the hanger, near the flight lounge. " _Well,_ " he considered, grinning, " _I suppose I wouldn't be opposed to a bit more hands on fight._ " Walking forward, he grabbed one of the spike tailed necromorphs by the throat as it leapt towards him, crushed its neck, and flung it towards the other creatures. Lunging forward, he shoved both hands into the chest of regular necromorph, and pulled outward, ripping it's stomach open, then grabbed it's arms and tore them off, before flinging it's corpse over the edge of the hanger bay. Laughing as he dispatched the remaining creatures, he strolled forward, using his abilities to summon his gun into his hand on the way.

Having to reach down to pick it up just wouldn't be fitting after that display after all.

A video screen then popped up, with Kendra and Hammond on the other end. "What the hell is happening down there?!" Hammond demanded. "What happened to the shuttle?" Looking at the wreckage of the ship, Kendra started panicking. After a quick discussion, it was decided (entirely without his input) that Alucard would take the tram station to the medical bay to take information off the RIG of the Ishimura captain's body. Sighing as he was once again forced to do everything, Alucard went off towards the tram.

A while later, right before stepping onto the tram, Alucard walked towards a lit up display on a nearby wall. Pushing the button to start the device, the computer voice told him that this was a store, and he could buy items there. Looking through his purchase options, he didn't see anything particularly interesting. He didn't need health packs of course, he had plenty of Jackal ammo, (not that the store would let him buy any anyway, for some reason) and he hadn't remembered to use stasis yet, so he didn't need stasis packs. Then, at the bottom of the list, he saw the final option: Power Nodes. " _Might as well get one,_ " he shrugged. It cost most of his credits, but that wasn't really an issue. Finally, he sold the few health packs he had picked up, and left the store. Walking onto the tram and starting it up, he stopped short as he could actually _hear_ dramatic sounding music playing, and a message-from-nowhere appeared.

 **Chapter 1: New Arrivals**

 **COMPLETED**

 **And that's chapter one! Each chapter should consist of a single in-game chapter, but they won't come out very fast, I'll warn you now. For those of you upset that I gave Alucard the Jackal instead of the plasma cutter, I do actually have a few reasons. First, Alucard would be just as overpowered without it, so there's no reason not to give it to him, and the cutter itself, while useful, has nothing really special about it that makes it interesting for him to have. Believe me, Alucard WILL be using other Dead Space weapons (flamethrower, contact beam, ect.) if for no reason other than shits and giggles. And as mentioned in story, the game is not giving him upgrades purchasable ammo for the Jackal, so he have anything extra to spend power nodes and credits on the game weapons (aside from suits.) Also, I do plan on finishing this story, as I originally got inspiration for it from a mental picture of *Spoiler Alert* Alucard going level 0 against the Hive Mind (Dead Space 1 final boss.) So that's going to be a thing, eventually. Oh, and the thing about Alucard's clothes regenerating isn't actually stated in canon, but I heard it brought up somewhere and it makes sense, so I'm just going with that. Lastly, I was kinda worries Alucard's thoughts on Kendra go too close to being character bashing, but since she's a villain in the end anyway, I think it should be alright.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

 **Hopefully there'll be less typos this chapter. Also, I'm using a video play through this time for reference, so I should be able to go into more accurate detail. By the way, this chapter has some** _ **much**_ **darker humor than the last. Keep in mind, Alucard is not a nice person, and the world of Dead Space is very dark itself. I don't think it should be a major issue, but just keep that in mind.**

Disorientation. That was the first thing Alucard felt upon the activation of the tram system. Rather than watching as the tram moved him along to his to his next objective, his vision went dark and the world flashed before his eyes. After a moment, a picture of what seemed to be the Ishimura appeared before him, and he watched in a daze as the picture zoomed into a specific part of the ship, only lasting for a moment before it flashed away once more. Upon pulling himself together, he found himself back in the "real" world, and noticed that the tram system had stopped and the doors had opened up.

" _What… exactly just happened?_ " he questioned as he stepped off the tram. Shaking it off as another impossibility that probably shouldn't be questioned too hard, he made his way to the end of the room. He was feeling rather frustrated though. He was supposed to be the monster that struck confusion and fear into others; it wasn't supposed to happen to him! Lost in his thoughts, it took him a moment to notice the injured woman crawling over a body on the floor beneath him.

"Shhh, shhh, it's all right, McCoy... He's here... Nothing to be afraid of... I knew you would come... just like you said..."

Alucard wasn't entirely sure if this woman was simply insane or actually had predicted his arrival into this world. He hoped it was the former, as crazy people were something he was far more familiar with. " _Though, I actually_ have _met a few a few prophets in my lifetime. Not that any of them actually did anything useful, like predicting this would happen…_ " Shaking off his thoughts, he listened to the rest of what the woman was saying.

"I, I, saved this for you... Can I go now? McCoy wants to take me... to the shuttle..."

Oh good. That sounded more like crazy person ramblings than prophet talk. Levitating the object the women had dropped into his hand, he read the hologram description above the object. " _Kinesis module huh? Might be interesting…_ " Attaching the object to his suit, the computer voice spoke up. "Use Kinesis to move or throw objects." Aiming the device at the boxes that were rather strangely placed in front of the doorway leading down the hall, Alucard activated it and was amused to see that it not only picked up objects, but held them perfectly still in the air. Shooting the box over the nearby ledge, he walked down the hallway towards his objective, only for a shiny object on the ground to catch his eye. The computer voice spoke up once more as he approached it. "Pick up schematics to add items to the store."

Questioning why there were so many random but (sort of) useful items just lying around, he picked up the "schematic" and a message-from-nowhere appeared. " **FLAMETHROWER Schematic Acquired. Download at the Store."** Alucard's interest peaked. " _Flamethrower huh? I always wanted one of those, but Master would never let me have one. 'It's a waste of money' she said…Hahahaha! This might actually be fun…_ "

Opening the door to the next room, he found that it was a complete mess. There was some sort of barricade in front of one of the doors, (though it was flashing red for being locked anyway, so Alucard wasn't quite sure what the point of that was) and much like the rest of the rest, the walls were more bloodied red than gray. Much more importantly however, there was a store in the corner of the room.

" _Wonderful…_ " Eagerly, he raced towards the store to redeem his wonderful prize, only to be interrupted by a video screen appearing with Hammond on the other end. Growling at the interruption, Alucard impatiently listened to what the man had to say.

"Isaac?" Hammond began, looking rather panicked, "Are you there?"

" _Clearly, or else I wouldn't be receiving this call right now…_ "

"We were attacked! Kendra's gone!"

" _Such a shame._ "

"One minute she was there, then...I can't believe I lost her. We can still do this. Get me the Captain's RIG codes and we'll find Nicole. Looks like the crew barricaded the door to the emergency wing. You'll have to blow through it to get to the Morgue. Get some thermite from Medical Storage, and a shock pad from Zero-G Therapy."

Years of working for the Hellsing family had lowered Alucard's ego to the point where taking orders no longer bothered him, but in his opinion it was still a bit ridiculous that he had to do everything.

"Should be down the corridor. God, communication is useless in all this static..."

And with that, the video feed cut out. Alucard was well aware that humans tended to ramble a bit when panicked, but he really wished the man wouldn't have taken so long. Regardless, he quickly made his way over to the store, where it acknowledged downloading the schematic. Scrolling down the list of options a bit, he pushed the button to buy the flamethrower, confirmed his purchase, and watched gleefully as the item was deposited into the inventory of his suit. Alucard then spent the rest of his money on ammo for the gun. After equipping it, he followed his location device through one of the doors, where an ever beloved message-from-nowhere appeared.

 **All weapons have an alternate firing mode.**

Raising an eyebrow, Alucard followed the instructions to activate said "Alternate firing mode," and watched as the flamethrower shot a blast of fire onto the ground which proceeded to explode and leave a small patch of fire on the ground.

" _Neat._ " Pleased with that particular discovery, he continued on his way. After moving through another jammed up door, (with a rather conveniently placed stasis recharge station directly in front of it) Alucard found himself in a surprisingly open area that appeared to be some sort of lab. However, he only made it about halfway to the elevator on the other side of room when the lights shut off and a computerized voice announced a quarantine. " _Wonderful…_ " Alucard grinned, happy at the chance to test out his new toy. Turning towards the closest necromorph, he pointed the flamethrower at it and pulled the trigger, watching in glee as the monster burned…

And burned…

And burned…

" _Clearly this is_ not _the most efficient way of killing things…_ " Alucard noted with a fair amount of disappointment. Slow or not, the necromorph did finally die, though Alucard only barely managed to jump out of the way before his head was cut off from another creature lurking behind him. The necromorphs didn't actually stand a chance at killing him, but decapitation did disorient him for a few moments, and it wasn't exactly a _pleasant_ experience. Sighing in disappointment, Alucard used the flamethrowers alternate fire to shoot off a few globs of flames at the necromorphs feet, before whipping out the Jackal and blowing off their limbs. After slaughtering all the remaining enemies, he took the elevator down to the lower level of the lab. He laughed at the creatures' rather incompetent attempt to ambush him as he stepped off the lift; their knife-like hands weren't exactly silent when scraping across the floor after all. After slaughtering the various attackers, he searched the various connecting rooms the various connecting rooms for anything of value. In the midst of his looting, he paused upon seeing what appeared to be a diagram of various necromorphs made him pause. " _Where the idiots on this ship…_ studying _these things!?_ " With that, any minor sympathy Alucard might have had for the crew of the Ishimura disappeared in an instant. If they were stupid enough to not only come anywhere close to an unknown species of alien zombies, but to actively study them, then they got what they had coming to them. Continuing along his objective marker, he picked an audio log off the floor, and shoved it into the player on his suit. A low voice rasped out.

" **I finally convinced Jurgens to show me the video feed from the colony. And what I saw was glorious. Breathtaking."**

" _Huh, a record from an actual human being. Neat."_ The log continued.

" **Miners undergoing a transformation into something extraordinary. I must know more. Even as the believer within me wants to become one of them, the scientist needs to uncover their secrets."**

" _Well, isn't Dr. Frankenstein here quite the well adjusted individual. Humans are strange at times, but I've never actually seen one want to become a ghoul. That one guy from my days in Wallachia doesn't count, since he was crazy enough to think I was some sort of alien anyway…"_

" **I need to study one of these... Necromorphs, as Kyne so clinically puts it. I need to witness this infection first hand. Perhaps that patient from the colony..."**

Well, Alucard could wish him well on that endeavor, even if he was a raving lunatic. Maybe he could provide him info on these necromorphs in future logs. Waltzing into the next room, he found a screaming scientist who for some inexplicable reason appeared to have his hand stuck the glass along the wall. Puzzling over this for a moment, he then noticed a creature that was evidently another necromorph behind the man. It was much different from the others though; it walked on four "legs" and had tentacles protruding from its back. The creature screeched, and then proceeded to launch a spike into the man's head. " _Well, that explains the stuck hand."_ Entering through the door to the room, he quickly kicked the creature across the room, caving in its head. The necromorph quickly proceeded to get back up regardless. " _Right, go for the limbs. I'm assuming those are the tentacles on its back. Hey, maybe when I get back I can spread rumors of these things around Japan. Their porn artists would have a field day…"_ Cutting through the necromorph's tentacles with his hand, Alucard then noticed something about the wall behind him. " _Are those things fetuses?"_ He chuckled. _"Man, even I didn't go for those when I ate my subjects and made them an undead army. Granted, that's mainly because I didn't think babies would be a good fighting force… Y'know, there might have been unused potential there…."_ Ultimately deciding that was pretty low on his "past regrets list," Alucard made his way up the lift at the end of the room, dispatched a few fetusmorphs, and followed his magic objective line down another few hallways, ultimately stopping in a room that conveniently had ammo on the floor, as well as something called thermite he needed for some reason or other. He couldn't remember. Alucard also picked up another one of the "Power Nodes" that was in a case along the wall. A moment later, he was contacted by Hammond. "Alright, that thermite you picked up should be able to melt through that barricade."

" _Barricade?"_ Alucard though back for a moment. " _Oh yes, that does sound familiar, I think there was one near the shop. That was what I needed the thermite for? Pretty sure I could've broken through it myself. Should probably stop getting distracted…"_ Deciding to simply justify his poor attention with the fact that he thought the flamethrower was going to be a lot more fun than it was; he made his way out of the room, finding himself a ways back in the lab from before. " _Huh. Wish I would've know that was where this door led. I could've just busted through."_ Sadly, Alucard eyeball powers were limited to hypnosis, not X-ray vision. " _Maybe I ought to see if I can get one of those Sharingan things. It wouldn't solve the X-ray vision, but I do seem to be dimension travelling and I remember those things being pretty neat."_ Filing the thought away for later, he made his way back to the barricade, time stopping a busted door along the way and dispatching a few more necromorphs.

Following the objective marker a little farther down a new set of hallways, (although calling them new was being a little generous, everyone of them looked the same with the only distinction being how the blood stains were arranged) he came across a man who seemed to be bashing his head against a wall. " _Not a very productive activity…"_ Alucard mused, watching as the man's head finally caved in and he slumped to the floor dead. _"Oh well."_ He then proceeded to continue along his way. He then entered a vast, open room. On the ground was a text log, which he proceeded to pick up and skim through it. The log described a man named Harris, who was apparently displaying the well documented side effects of being completely batshit insane.

" _Make us whole, huh? Y'know, I've never actually seen ghouls or vampires that chanted a mantra. Even the Millennium freaks weren't that crazy."_

Stuffing the log in his suit, he walked over to a locked door at the side of the room. When he was standing in front of it, a message appeared from the door.

 **Use power node to unlock door?**

" _Yeah, I'm pretty sure I should keep those for other stuff. Maybe I can make that flamethrower actually useful. Looks like there's good stuff in there though, soo…"_

With that, he rammed his hand into the door, much like before, and ripped it open. Having super strength made (un)life so much easier at times. Walking through the now-busted door, he picked up the ammo lying on the ground, along with a few health packs and something called a bronze semiconductor. Alucard wasn't entirely sure what that was for, but its description said it was worth a thousand credits, so if nothing else he could sell it. Moving along, he made his way over to a Bench in the room, and activated it. Selecting the new flamethrower option, he took a look at what he could do to upgrade it…and was once again severely disappointed.

" _Capacity? Reload!? What does duration even mean? These are useless!"_ Looking a little closer, he noticed there were actually a few damage upgrades. Three of them anyway, although only one was anywhere close to the start of the (seemingly arbitrary) upgrade path. Grumbling in irritation, Alucard spent the Power Node he had on the first upgrade for capacity. _"My immortality will run out before I'm able to make this thing useful…"_ Bemoaning his inability to burn things alive efficiently, he once again went back to his outlined path. Stopping in front of a large, cylinder object, a message appeared in front of him.

 **Use Kinesis to move large, marked objects.**

Well, that was convenient. Not that it really mattered, since Alucard could easily jump over the object, and in fact proceeded to do just that. On the other side of the room there were two spikey-tailed necromorph, which Alucard promptly dispatched. _"I do so wish they would send more of these things at a time. A hundred or so of them might actually be an exhilarating fight."_ He then walked into another room, which conveniently contained another Power Node, as well as a schematic for something called Pulse Rounds. _"Oh yes, I think there was an option for some Pulse Rifle or other. I've never been overly fond of machine guns though."_ Alucard chose not to pick up the schematic, as it wouldn't really serve a purpose other than to clog up his limited inventory. Exiting the room, he there was a battery looking object evidently meant to be put back in place in its slot along the wall, presumably to fix the broken life next to it. Alucard ignored it and simply jumped up to the top of the ledge. Jumping over a few more gaps in the walkway, not bothering to move the missing platform over with Kinesis, he blew off the limbs of a few more necromorphs, and made his way to the door at the end of the hall. Smashing the power strip keeping the door locked, he made his way through the next set of doors, and found himself outside.

Outside, in this particular situation, referring to the vacuum of outer space.

It appeared that part of the ship had blown away, but Alucard's attention was more focused on the message-from-nowhere that had appeared in front of him.

 **Your air meter will appear when you are in a vacuum.**

Alucard snorted. _"Yes, and all this would be utterly fascinating were it not for the fact that I lack the need for air in order to survive."_ The text below the message made a note of something called "air canisters" which Alucard made a note of to promptly ignore if he ever came across one. Making his way through the area with nothing of particular interest happening, he was then contacted by Hammond.

"As you know, the Ishimura is able to set its gravity locally," the man began.

" _I actually did not know that, but continue."_

"Your grav boots will kick in when you enter a zero G area."

" _Oh. OH. Ohohoho. I get to fly around without gravity~"_ Alucard was pleased. While he could technically fly back on Earth, he had to assume a bat form to do it, and that just wasn't the same. Beyond that, he was limited to just being able to jump really high. _"Although I_ did _pester Master to install a room with zero gravity, but like always, she ignored me. 'Waste of money' she said as usual. Nonsense."_ Eagerly racing into the next room, Alucard pushed the button on the panel to disable gravity. He could have just jumped across to his objective, but this wasn't an opportunity he was going to pass up. After the gravity finished disabling, he leapt into the air, eager to start flying around…only to fly upwards and smack his head on the ceiling. "Ouch," He muttered. It didn't really hurt but it was the principal of things. _"Alright, let's try this again…"_ He swung his arms forward and went flying through the air. He actually made it over the platform this time, but fumbled the landing and went rolling into the wall. _"It would appear I'm going to need practice with this…"_ Standing back up, noticed the door was locked. There was a missing battery on the side of the door, and Alucard grinned. _"Well, this is as good an excuse as any to get that practice in now…"_ With that, he spent the next several minutes "searching" for the missing battery, quickly becoming fairly proficient at moving in zero gravity. Eventually finding the battery, he shoved it into placed and entered the storage room to grab his objective. _"What I'd like to know is why there's a huge path with a giant zero gravity room just to lead up to a single storage room. Whoever made this ship could write a book titled "Design Flaws 101."_ Shaking his head at the stupidity and grabbing the "shock pad" along with the rest of the random loot, he was contacted once again by Hammond, congratulating him on completing yet another fetch quest. "Shit, I can hear more coming, moving through the vents. Stay safe Isaac."

" _Sadly, I really don't see this man making it out of here alive. Oh well."_

Alucard then walked out the door, preparing to jump to the other side, only to get hit on the face by a spiky-tailed necromorph flying into him.

"Augh!" He shouted in irritation.

Ripping the creature off him, he grabbed it by the tailed and spun it around before flinging it into another necromorph that was in the middle of a leap towards him. Looking on in satisfaction, he whipped out the Jackal and blew the limbs of both necromorphs. He stopped to grab the ammo he dropped before turning off the zero gravity and making his out of the room. _"I do so hope there are more rooms like that."_

Back in the vacuum, he was attacked by two more basic necromorphs that were easily killed. _"So they don't need air to survive either. Interesting,"_ Alucard mused. After making his way down do the room with the bench, he put the power node he had collected into the flamethrower. _"These empty spaces are ridiculous,"_ Alucard complained to himself. _"Who designed this? Come to think of it, who designed most of the shit I've come across?"_ Making his way back where he came from, he turned around a corner only for a horde of bug like things to leap onto his body and start eating away at his suit.

" _Waitwhatthehell?!"_

He scrambled to rip them off his body, but there were too many of them. Snarling in rage, he finally grabbed his flamethrower, pointed it at his body, and doused both him and what he would thus refer to as the "bugromorphs" in sweet, beautiful cleansing fire. "That's it, BURN you little shits!" Alucard shouted in satisfaction. His body was now a charred mess; not even his suit had protected him from that much heat, but he quickly regenerated regardless. Alucard still technically felt pain, but both his Vampirism and centuries of getting used to it dulled the feeling so much that he barely even registered it anymore, even burning alive was just a moderately uncomfortable experience at this point.

After going down the hallway to the barricade room, Alucard stopped at the store to buy another power node. It was really the other thing worth getting after all. The only other thing that had caught his eye was something called a "Level 2 Suit" which he assumed would protect him better, but seeing how he could regenerate from any and all damage in an instant, buying it would just be a waste of money he could be spending towards making the flamethrower more useful. Walking towards the barricade, he planted the explosive and set it off. _"I mean, I could have destroyed it myself, but after spending so much time on fetch quests for this bomb I'm at least getting the satisfaction of watching it blow."_ He watched in anticipation as the bomb went off. There was a blinding light that lasted for a few moments… and that was about it, the light faded and the barricade had a huge hole in it. _"Well that was disappointing,"_ Alucard grumbled. _"I was expecting a giant explosion. Should've just done this myself…"_ Whilst still getting over his dissatisfaction, he got a call from Hammond. "Okay, your through," the man stated.

" _You don't say?"_

"Should be clear from there to the morgue."

" _Well if you consider 'infested with monsters' clear then I suppose so."_

"Remember, the codes are on the captain's body." And with that, Hammond cut out.

" _Right, off to the room that's actually supposed to be filled with corpses. Now that I think about it, the cleanup crew for this place is going to have a hell of a job."_ Laughing at the thought, he made his way down the hall, only to find another log lying on the ground. _"Oh goodie, I hope this is another one from an actual person. Maybe that crazy scientist got somewhere with his necromorph studies."_ However, the log was instead from a blonde haired woman. _"Wait,"_ Alucard thought. _"Isn't that the girl from the other video Kendra Bitchface was making fun of 'Isaac' for watching?"_ The log started at that point.

"This is Senior Medical Officer Nicole Brennon."

" _Yup, I was right."_

"We need help! Nobody will tell us what's happening. We're not equipped to deal with this!"

" _What's happening is that you are all, approximately speaking, fucked royally."_

Nicole then yelled to someone screaming in the background. "God, get him to the table. Hold him down! End recording!" And with that, the log cut out. By this point, Alucard had already made his way into another large room which appeared to be some sort of laboratory. Like everywhere else on the ship, the walls were stained with blood. As Alucard made his way into the room, a few fetusmorphs popped out of the walls. Alucard started fighting them off, only to have Hammond call him while doing so.

"That was Nicole, right? I can tell when that log was made. I'm sure she's around here somewhere."

" _Okay, Hammond? Kinda in the middle of something here. I mean, Walter may have turned out to be a traitor, but if nothing else, back when we were partners in World War II he at least knew that when I'm killing shit, you leave me the hell alone!"_ Grumbling in frustration, he finished off the fetusmorphs, and followed his objective markers to one of the various doors in the room. Alucard shoved the battery that had fallen out back into place to unlock the door, and walked through it. He then watched as a fetusmorph raced around a corner, then came back a moment later with a regular necromorph.

" _Did it just…run off to grab its friend?"_ Alucard questioned in disbelief. Shaking his head, he killed the several necromorphs in front of him, before turning around to go bust into the "Power Node Door" at the side of the room.

He didn't get very far though, since a necromorph that had snuck up behind him sliced his head off the second he turned around.

"Goddamnit." Alucard had said this out loud for a change, curious if these necromorphs had any sort of sentience, since if they did, seeing his disembodied head talking would probably surprise them.

Seeing how the creature ignored him and started wildly stabbing his body, it was a safe bet they were probably mindless.

Alucard went back to the Power Node Room, broke down the door, and took all the ammo and credits inside. He also found a schematic for something called Line Racks. _"I think I do recall a Line Gun or something at the store. Hmm, maybe I'll have to get that."_ His suit appeared to hold four guns at a time, so he still had two more free slots. Continuing to follow his objective line down the hall, he found another audio log in the corner of one of the rooms.

"Hello? My name is Elleen Fisk, I just woke up… where did everybody go? I can here scratching in the walls…"

" _Well, she's probably dead. Of course, everyone seems to be dead or dying, so that's not really anything new."_ Alucard then followed a side corridor to the end of the room, in search of any extra loot, there wasn't any, but a few necromorphs popped out of the vents in the floor and then were promptly killed by Alucard.

" _These creatures are awfully intelligent for not being sentient. Most ghouls can't follow any orders beyond 'You see that thing? Go kill it' whereas these necromorphs can hide and bait out people. Odd."_ Putting the thought off for the time being, he opened the door to the next room, where a woman with a handsaw appeared to be cutting up a corpse behind a glass encasement. As Alucard made his way to the end of the room, she slit her throat with the saw.

" _See what I mean? Dead or dying."_

Before leaving the room, Alucard picked up a text log from someone called Dr. Kynes, who was requesting the Ishimura Captain (whose corpse Alucard was currently needing to go loot for his objective) bring up something called "The Marker" for study.

" _Well, doesn't that sound particularly ominous. I wonder if it's what's making these necromorphs."_

The man also mentioned Dr. Mercer, so that probably meant this person was fucked in the head too. As Alucard walked into the next room, all the windows suddenly burst, and a tentacle came flying out of one.

" _What the fuck?"_

Shaking his head, he picked yet another log off the floor. This one was also from Kynes, who was expressing concern over "the colonists" (who Alucard assumed were the people down on the planet) experiencing what seemed to be a form a dementia after the discovery of the Marker."

" _Dementia huh? Well, that's a new one."_

After killing another fetusmorph, Alucard made his way up an elevator, and finally arrived in what appeared to be the morgue. Walking around the upturned tables and corpses strewn all over the floor, Alucard approached the glass his objective marker was pointing to.

" _Well, it sure looks like someone had a party in here."_

Grinning, he got ready to break the glass, only to pause as a pterodactyl looking thing leapt down from the ceiling and started doing something to the captain's corpse. Alucard just stood there blinking in surprise as the previously dead captain got up as a necromorph, except unlike the rest of the necromorphs, he was colored black.

" _Well never mind what I said thought earlier than, I guess that's what making the necromorphs."_

He blew off the necromorph's legs, but while it did suffer the loss of its limbs, it didn't recoil from it quite as much as the rest of the necromorphs. It seemed faster too.

" _I guess the black ones are stronger than. If I wasn't busy right now I'd be making a very offensive joke about that."_

Despite its strength, Alucard finished off the black necromorph, and then turned his attention to the winged thing.

" _Infectomorph maybe? Yeah, let's go with that."_

The thing actually did try to attack him, so apparently it could do more than just make new necromorphs. It didn't have any obviously protruding limbs either, making it slightly harder to kill then the rest. Still, it couldn't exactly do anything to hurt Alucard, and ultimately died like the rest.

" _Now, time to get my goodies from the loot in this room."_

After doing just that, even getting a Power Node that was lying on the ground, Alucard grabbed the captain's suit off his corpse. Hammond, somehow or another, magically got the codes off it, and called Alucard to tell him to head to the tram station. While looting the room, Alucard picked a text log off the floor, which was apparently made by whoever autopsied the captain's body, as it stated the captain was murdered based on the state of his corpse.

" _Huh. Guess he wasn't killed by the necromorphs then. Though I suppose that_ would _explain why his body was in the morgue._ Shrugging, Alucard followed his objective marker down to elevator in the corner of the room, and found himself back in the lab from before. Alucard started walking back to the tram when he came across another black necromorph, which he proceeded to kill.

" _I guess these things are just going to be regularly found now that I've come across them. Because that makes sense"_

Honestly, the process of how humans got turned into these things baffled him. For starters, it usually wasn't possible to turn something already dead into an undead, and then there was the fact that these necromorphs weren't even human looking. And given by the bug things, even non humans could be turned. It made no sense.

After that, he was called by Hammond, who told him that one of the necromorphs found a place called the Captains Nest, and that he had trapped it in an escape pod.

" _Oh yes, because shooting the contagiously undead monster randomly into space is an amazing idea."_

"Based on the logs, whatever's happening here started when they cracked the planet open. Isaac, whatever's happening here isn't an infection, it's some form of alien life! Shit!" The man swore. "We've got bigger problems! The ships engines are offline and our orbit's decaying. Get over to engineering ASAP!"

" _Bitch don't tell me what to do!"_ Alucard thought, but didn't voice his irritation. The call cut out anyway, so it was a moot point. By now he had made it back to the tram station, and had stepped on it. Mentally preparing himself for what he knew came next, Alucard activated the tram. Once more, the dramatic music played and a message appeared before his eyes.

 **Chapter 2: Intensive Care**

 **COMPLETED**

" _Who the hell names these thin-"_ Alucard started to think, and then his entire world went black.

 **Important part of AN: It may or may not be helpful to have a video of Dead Space playing at the side while you read this, so you have a better idea of where Alucard's at. If I recall, this site doesn't do links very well, but here's the one to the video I'm using for reference nonetheless. If nothing else, you can type it into your address bar and look it up that way. watch?v=1X1l4wOiwJw &feature= &t=3347 (It's a complete playthrough in one vid.)**

 **Regular AN: Yeah, this chapter took a long time to get out. Sorry about that, but I'm a bit of a slow writer, and then I got writers block about halfway through. I don't think the next section of Dead Space is very long though, so next chapter should come out much faster. On a side note, I personally hate both the zero gravity sections and the flamethrower. The zero-g sections were clunky, disorienting, and annoying until Dead Space 2 improved them, but due to separation of gameplay and reality, I can see Alucard loving them. As for the flamethrower, I didn't use it long but it seemed like an extreme ammo hog to me, and while some of that opinion bleeds through to the story, I'm having Alucard give it a chance, because he would love something like that. Lastly, I'm paraphrasing certain non crucial audio logs, partly so I run a lower chance of getting my story banned for copyright, and partly because I'm lazy. Review if you have time and all that.**


End file.
